Excuse me Father Time? You can take your break now.

Sometimes I just want to hit pause or stop the sand in the hourglass. Whatever you prefer, I just want time to stop moving so quickly! My life seems to be in fast forward, and THAT I'm not ok with. I've been feeling really weird about my life this week. I think mostly its because I think too much. See? I think I think too much? Its obvious that I do. Lately I've mostly been thinking about time. Time is a strange thing. Sometimes I feel like time halts, like when I'm at work for example. I swear the clock above my desk freezes every day and five o'clock takes an eternity to arrive. However, sometimes time likes to move at the speed of light, leaving me standing in a daze wondering where the day has gone. This is where the "time thing" and the "thinking too much thing" combine to form a "Ann Marie feels weird about her life thing." So here's the deal... My first year of college will be over in a month, and as I look back I realize how fast it went by. I'm not exactly content with how it has gone. The last 9 months or so have passed so quickly and I feel like I've accomplished so little of what I wanted to do.

In the last 9 months I've moved away from home, felt more alone than any other time in my life, lost myself, moved again, found myself (well I'm working on it), made life long friendships, found love, decided what to do with my life, lost a lot of sleep, laughed, and cried. I don't think I've wasted my time, but I don't think I always used it so wisely either, and now I feel like I'm out of time! I don't want this year to end. Which is odd because usually I can't wait for school to get out, but this time the end of school is more than just the end of classes. It means moving again and working, but mostly it means not seeing important people that I'm used to seeing everyday. It also means more time. Time to figure out who I am. Time to figure out what I want. I have all this time but still it seems like I never have enough of it! Time is a weird thing. I've been thinking way too much about how much time I have and what the future holds. Its a pretty conflicting feeling. I just want it to stop. Time. Ugh.