I have this tendency. On nights like tonight. That when I let something get to me, and I think too much, then that tiny something can send me into a downward spiral. It is not healthy by any means, but I do it and I know I do. All it takes is one little thing that makes me feel down, or discouraged, and suddenly I'm not good at anything. My life is down, and everything I do is discouraging.
When I step back and look at myself, I realize the foolishness of it.
About a year ago I was in a losing battle with depression. I really don't think that is the kind of thing you can fully understand unless you have gone through it. And if you have, then you know just how dark it is. Today I am in such a better place. For the most part I am happy. There are occasions, such as tonight, that I get glimpses of that awful place. The sadness and hopelessness that consumed me. But I'm grateful.
I'm grateful to have had that experience. It has brought me perspective. It has brought me knowledge. And I think the biggest thing is that it has brought me hope, and increased my testimony. I know now that I can endure hard things. And silly nights like tonight aren't a big deal.
You're not the only one who doesn't have it all together, but there is one person who does. And He is a really good one to have on your side. He helped me through a rough spot, and He'll help you. You just have to look up.
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